Becoming the best version of myself without you here, Yet you are always with me.
2004 my life as i knew it changed forever, I started a journey of finding out who i was without the love of my life, my best friend the father of my children. Cancer is a cruel disease, It has no preference of who it chooses to take from our loved ones.
We were in the prime of our life old enough to know from our mistakes, young enough to start enjoying the life we worked so hard for with our three boys. I wasn’t even 35 yet, thought we were going to conquer the world! Sadly, that wasn’t the case for us. I had to figure out how to be me without you.
At 34 I became a widow with 3 boys to raise and not fail. In my path to find out who i wanted to be and where I would find myself again, consisted of 17 moves in the last 19 years. Lots of mistakes were made as a parent, some I wish dearly i could take back and make different choices for my sons. You truly don’t know how life could get any worse and then it does.. oh boy does it ever. Even in the worst I believed that i wasn’t going to fail not for anyone. My greatest move was to Fairbanks Alaska, I met people who didn’t know the Mel with Sam story. They met the broken Mel with her head held high and refusal to fail as a person or parent. There is something to say about changing your surroundings and being brave enough to meet new people and hitting that restart button. In my pursue of happiness and clarity i have hopped between Alaska and Washington several times. Went from cities to the small village I grew up in. I have watched my sons grow up and become men and start their own families. deep down I know their dad is smiling down on them. They have given me more strength then I could ever imagine having. I have met people who have made me see that life always has beautiful sunrises and sunsets that make your heart skip a beat. Its up to you to see the beauty that surrounds you.
Jumping ahead 19 years later I am happily pursuing my Associates degree in Tribal management. I have learned It is my passion to work for my native people. The passion comes from wanting our people to know we are strong and resilient as a whole. That as native Americans we can do anything together.
I want to be the voice for those who cannot speak, be there to support my people in becoming the very best version of themselves.
I want to be someone my grandchildren are proud of.
Done