Who I’m becoming and who I want to become are two different things. I know who I want to be. I want to be a person who is positive, kind, doesn’t judge, and is there for others. I want to create positive interactions in the world. I believe that who I am and will become is shaped by every small choice I make along with the big ones. I try to shape who I am by acknowledging traits in others that make me feel good when I interact with them and incorporate it into who I am and how I interact with others. I smile at people I walk by. I hold open doors. I offer help if I see someone struggling. I give compliments and offer advice. When I interact with someone, whether it be a few seconds one time or frequently over years, I want that interaction to end with them feeling better.
Unlike most people in this class, I do not study social work. I am pursuing a BA in biological sciences with a concentration in environmental change and a minor in Spanish. Regardless of what I study, my values align significantly with the goals of social work. In the long term I would like to be a part of or create a program that teaches disadvantaged youth about science, how to do research, and how to find resources to do it. I come from a privileged starting point on this. I was born in Alaska and I have supportive parents who want me to pursue what makes me happy. I went to one of two high schools in the state that have a fully functioning BioTechnology lab. My experience in high school helped me receive a research opportunity with less than typical effort from my end. A professor who really enjoyed me as a student helped push me to get an amazing summer research internship. Even with all of my luck, experience, and support, I still struggled a lot and thought that doing research was out of my reach. I want to help youth who are interested in science and have less than I did to get, use, and create opportunities and resources. My biggest motivation for everything I do is wanting to help people.
I feel a strong sense of belonging in Alaska. I lived in Anchorage in the same house from the day I was born up until the day I moved to Fairbanks at 17 years old. I went to a K-12 school from second grade until I graduated. I was and am used to consistency and existing within the familiarity of Alaska. This was strengthened last summer when I spent two months in two villages along the Yukon river. I spent a month in each village hosting free day camps for youth that focus on promoting personal health and wellbeing. It was one of the most difficult and rewarding times of my life. By the end I found myself with more patience in everyday interactions as well as with myself and I was focusing on others before myself. I was becoming the person I want to be. A lot has changed since then.
Regardless of knowing who I want to be, I still struggle to make that who I am becoming. It is not automatic to me. If I am struggling personally it can be hard for me to remember to smile and not make assumptions about others. If I am feeling judged or out of place it is hard for me to continue to be an open and welcoming person. If I am completely overwhelmed and focused on the bigger picture it is hard to be in the moment and easy to forget that small interactions can make big differences. When I am struggling with becoming the person I want to be I try to do one thing a day that pushes me in the right direction, even if it is just to smile.
I really knew nothing about social workers and the variety of roles they fill until I met a good friend of mine who majors in social work, Ileana. I met her while doing an exchange program at the University of Puerto Rico Rio Piedras. We have since stayed in contact and I consider her to be one of my biggest influences in Puerto Rico and life in general. This summer I was doing a research internship that also involved doing summer camp for and mentoring youth in foster care. She spent the summer doing summer camps and programs for foster youth in Puerto Rico. This was my first realization not only that social work included a lot more than I had previously thought, but also that it overlaps with what I want and value significantly.
When I arrived in Puerto Rico I did not know a single person and I could not speak Spanish well. This kept me from being as open and friendly as I normally am. I wasn’t accustomed to the language, culture, area, or people. At first I did really well keeping in touch with the person I want to be and held a really open and judgment free mindset. However, over time I let myself assume what people told me to be true and the negative interactions I had dominated my expectations and therefore how I interacted with people. I ended up feeling significantly isolated and let past negative interactions dictate how I interacted with others and therefore who I was becoming.
On my dorm floor it was common for students to sit or stand in the hallway and talk. While I was cooking in the dorm communal kitchen alone Ileana came in, introduced herself, asked me about myself and if I was new, and invited me to come talk to the group anytime they are in the hallway if I want to. After I finished cooking I went and sat with them in the hallway and she introduced me and the other students. After a few minutes she checked in to make sure I was able to understand the conversation, which I couldn’t. I asked everyone to continue speaking in Spanish regardless so I could learn it even if it meant I didn’t understand the conversations well. Starting that day Ileana would regularly check in with me to summarize conversations in group settings and explain things I didn’t understand to make sure I was always included. She was the first person who knew nothing about me to introduce herself and make sure that I had a place I was welcomed.
Ileana was always kind and patient and there for me when I needed someone to talk to. Over my five months in Puerto Rico I found myself being less open and friendly. I was always thinking and concerned about myself before others because of how interactions with most people made me feel. I knew that who I was becoming wasn’t the person I want to be. Ileana gave me something positive to hold on to. Not only in her direct interactions with me, but seeing her as someone I would be proud to be inspires me to become the person I want to be even when it’s hard. When I am struggling with keeping a positive, open mindset towards others, specifically people I don’t know, I think of Ileana and how her unconditional kindness before she even met me made my experience and life so much better. Ileana is my biggest inspiration and role model of who I want to become. She shows me that it is possible.
To become the person I want to be I have to start with who I am today. I have to acknowledge that there is progress and regress. I am mindful of and thankful to the people that have shaped who I am today.
Kaylila Johnston
Hello, Katherine
I loved reading your blog and getting to know a little bit about you! I agree that social work is important to everyone regardless of their major. You seem like a very genuine person by the way you describe yourself. It sure is a good feeling when we try to help others. Despite life’s struggles, you’ve held onto the person you want to be and you are becoming. It is a challenging thing to do because every day is not the same but take it one day at a time. It is a phrase that I always heard while growing up and I believe that is all we can do and that we should make the best of it. I see that you like to help people out and I know that some people may seem uncaring. Just keep being who you truly are and keep smiling. You seem like you’ve met a wonderful lady! People in our lives do have an impact on us and how we perceive the world. I too always wondered where I’d be if I didn’t meet my best friend. I am sure that you too made a positive impact on the children’s lives while working at your internship at a summer camp. I’ve always wanted to participate in a summer camp but I felt like I didn’t have the time to do so. Learning a different language is challenging but it is so worth it. I too am still learning to speak the Yup’ik language. I do believe that I am fluent but I am still learning new words every day. There are times I feel too English for the Yup’ik and too Yup’ik for the English but I try to speak my best in both languages. From the photos, it looks like Puerto Rico is a beautiful place to be. I’ve always wondered what it would be like if I were there.
Katherine LeBlanc
Hello Kaylila. Thank you for your response filled with kind and encouraging words, I really appreciate it. When I am going through a hard time and feel as though I don’t know why I’m doing what I’m doing or out of place I also use the ‘one day at a time’ mindset to get through it to a better time. I think it’s amazing that you’re learning to speak Yup’ik and I can relate to the being fluent but constantly learning. Sometimes I feel like I can never be truly fluent no matter how much I practice.
Kaylana Nations
Hi Katherine,
I really enjoyed reading your blog and seeing your genuine urge to spread happiness to those around you. I also loved hearing about your teachings of science in the villages. I hope to one day start a business that teaches ceramics and other forms of creativity to kids and adults in lower-income communities. There’s always wonder and joy in kids’ eyes when they get to learn new things. It’s amazing you got to do all of this research during highschool as well.
Katherine LeBlanc
Hi Kaylana. I think that providing opportunities for creativity in lower-income communities is a great goal that will provide something bright in a lot of people’s lives. Just last night one of my friends was teaching me how to throw pottery on a wheel and it was super fun (regardless of my very ‘unique’ bowls haha).
Dilyn Martin
Hi Katherine, I agree with who you are becoming is a struggle. You can do all sorts of things but still be confused on who you are. I enjoy how you want to be someone who helps youth on what they can be interested in. Especially disadvantaged youth, because sometimes they don’t have the same opportunities as other youth. I hope to also be someone that also brings more opportunities to youth. Your blog inspired me to see how I can be that someone.