Christmas at my house isnāt really anything special. Neither my momās side, nor my dad’s side is religious, so it kind of just feels like a weekend thatās a little more relaxing than usual. On both my momās and dad’s sides, my parent, step-parent, and siblings are pretty removed from our extended family, so our celebration consists of as much of a nuclear family as we can get. Thereās always a plethora of gifts and an egg bake for breakfast, but there is quite a difference between spending the holiday with my mother, versus with my father, despite all the similarities. At my dadās, we generally wake up and open gifts right off the bat. While everyone still has sleep in their eyes, we individually look through our stockings in the living room. My stepmom is a pro in the gift giving area and always piles up more stuff and could actually fit into a stocking by the mantle. Then we trade off being the āelfā. My brother will bring someone a present, then Iāll bring one, and then my sister will, and repeat. After that we eat breakfast, and my dad and stepmom put on a basketball game while we go to our respective rooms for the remainder of the day, sneaking out for snacks every few hours. In my opinion, Christmas at my momās house tends to win out. There, we all wake up (since my siblings are younger at my momās house itās always a much earlier and louder wake up call) and go look at our stockings. My mom always puts an orange in our stockings as a treat since fruit is out of season in Alaskan December. Generally the āSanta giftā each of my younger siblings gets is a sled to share, a rope swing, or some outdoor thing of that nature. After stockings we go to eat breakfast and my mom makes cinnamon rolls along with her egg bake since my sister and I arenāt really big egg eaters. Then weāll put on Christmas music. I was born in December and my mom listened to Christmas music in the hospital, so she always likes to start with Amy Grantās āBreath of Heavenā, because thatās āmy songā. Once my stepdad gets ahold of the aux, we move to āGrandma Got Run Over By A Reindeerā, almost without fail. Then weāll open presents, and my mom will pretend like she doesnāt remember what I got her, even though sheās always in the store with me when I buy it, so I make sure to get the right thing. After that, itās some obligatory family time, but itās nice. My mom makes beef barley soup for dinner, and no one has to change for bed because everyoneās been in pajamas all day.
Christmas Past with my Mom š”
When I was younger, we did spend time with my extended families. My parents have been separated since I was two, so thereās no memorable holidays with both sides, but I do miss even seeing one side of my family sometimes. With my momās mom and sisters, we used to have a baking day, a week or so before Christmas, and bake until it was cookies and bread out the wazoo. It was always a lot of work for me and even more so for my mom. She has the biggest kitchen so she always hosted. Her sisters and mom sort of held the expectation that she would pay for the baking materials because she was hosting. My mom has four kids to watch and a lot of the time when family comes over she winds up babysitting full grown adults, so that put an end to a lot of holiday events. My stepdadās family lives out of state, but for every holiday his parents send us an already opened, aptly themed bag of M&Ms.
Christmas Past with my Dad š”
On my dad’s side, we used to go to my grandparents house every Christmas morning, but having a huge family means a lot of people to buy gifts for. Decreasing that cost, along with some disagreements on core values, led to us not going over there anymore. My stepmomās family are snowbirds so theyāre in Arizona for Christmas. Iāve always been stuck in the middle, between my momās and dadās side, my dad and his extended family, and my mom and her extended family (although much less so with them). Because of this, everyone tries to move things around and really extend the season so I can make time to visit with them all. Christmas really makes me more grateful than Thanksgiving, because of everyone shuffling their lives around to make room specifically for me. My momās mom will take me on coffee dates and my dadās parents will host gingerbread man decorating and tree cutting parties, earlier in December. Since winter break is longer than Thanksgiving break, Iām able to spend time with more people than I can see in November.
āIn America, Santa is a caricature of what is otherwise a venerated bastion of goodwill.”
Rev. Marcus Birch
The Christmas content for this week focuses a good amount on the issue of rewarding good behavior with more presents over the holiday season. In my opinion, gifts should be heartfelt, but not always extravagant. If you value more pricey items and you and your family have the means to afford them, I think thatās fantastic. The real problem is that most people donāt have those means, so even when a kid is āniceā all year, they canāt be rewarded with more gifts.
A tidbit I like from the article āThe Patron Saint of Capitalism: Parents Dream of a Less Commercialized Christmasā by Eric Connor was said by Rev. Marcus Birch. He said, āIn America, Santa is a caricature of what is otherwise a venerated bastion of goodwill,ā which, from my interpretation, simply means people use Christmas as an excuse to buy stuff. Iām not exempt from this, I love to get people gifts. I like to see a loved one’s face light up, assuring me that I picked out just the right thing, but it doesnāt always have to be more costly to have that effect. Hand-me-downs are big in my momās family. In past years, Iāve given my brother one of my favorite childhood books as a gift. I made my boyfriend a quilt out of our old T-shirts, which was time consuming, but not fund consuming. Iāve given my dad a sign sporting our last name, made out of license plates I found in my grandpaās barn. A modern Christmas is also quite materialistic. Another great way to give gifts is through experiences. My dad and stepmom have given my siblings and I tickets for a vacation before. On the less pricey side of that type of gift, Iāve helped my sister rearrange her bedroom before as a gift, since that was something out of the ordinary of what Iād do.
All in all, I donāt know very much about the origins of Christmas, supposed or actual, but I really value the holiday, and all that comes along with it. The commercialization of Christmas is a problem, but the world runs on money, and I donāt think thatās going to stop anytime soon. From a revolutionary social work perspective, I think one of the most effective ways to go about addressing this issue right now, is by trying to eliminate poverty and advocating for social justice year round.
Hailey Luder
Hi Devin, I really liked your post. All the photos you put in made it feel very personal, which was nice, and you included a lot about yourself and your family during the holidays. My friend also gets an orange in her stocking every year, but I’ve never heard of anyone else doing it. She’s not from Alaska, but Wisconsin, so it may be for different reasons, I’m not sure, but I thought it was interesting to note. Trying to eliminate poverty is such a huge, monumental, important task, and the consumerism in today’s society really does fuel Christmas, and I thank you for addressing that. Thank you for your contribution!