Reflections of my personal relationship with Christmas, and what it means to me today
A Brief History of Santa
According to Eric Connor of the Greenville News, Saint Nicholas was a gift bearer from 4th century Eastern Roman Empire Christianity
Sinter Klaas or sometimes Sinterklaas originated as a figure of Dutch tradition. There are some resemblances to the American Santa Claus of today.
Thomas Nast created an iconic drawing of Santa in 1881, coloring the suit in red with white fur trim. This figure is still familiar in today’s society, nearly 150 years later.
A Montgomery Ward advertisement led to the creation of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, thanks to Robert May.
Coca-Cola captured the power of Santa Claus to boost sales of their product during the slower winter months. This advertising campaign has spanned many decades.
Inequities of Christmas
Beginning early in our country’s relationship with Christmas, children were taught to associate the gifts they did (or didn’t) receive at Christmas with their behavior throughout the year. Movies and songs reminded us to be kind, strive for peace on earth, and spend money to keep up with the expectations of our family, friends, and neighbors. There are obvious reasons why this is problematic, yet this model for celebrating the season seems to have a strong grip on the many people in the United States. Even social media influencers have joined the cast of characters who influence our spending habits this time of year.
Children may be the most sensitive to the inequities created by Christmas and the consumerism that comes with it. If they don’t receive a lot of big, fancy gifts, they may feel as though they aren’t good enough to deserve them. Families that choose to celebrate Christmas in a modest way could still create a situation where the kids feel insecure because their friends or peers are getting more. Then there are the children who live in abusive or neglectful households, or do not have families at all. Kids who come from families that don’t celebrate Christmas may be overwhelmed by the ways in which it overtakes our country for almost two months. Feelings of jealousy that are experienced by children of all backgrounds likely come from peers and mainstream depictions of Christmas, rather than from the teachings of parents and family, but they can be felt very deeply nonetheless.
Adults, too, can be subjected to feelings of inadequacy, depression, and being overwhelmed by the Christmas holiday. Feeling as though you are failing to give your children a “perfect” Christmas creates so much pressure for parents that they are willing to put themselves into debt or make unreasonable sacrifices to avoid the disappointment. It is easy to suffer feelings of loneliness when one does not have a family or friends to celebrate with. The feelings of loss and grief seem are often amplified by the holidays, regardless of whether this time of year marks an anniversary of the loss or not. Anyone facing difficulties of any sort may feel isolated when everyone around seems to be filled to the brim with Christmas cheer.
Christmas and Consumerism
I have experienced a gradual awakening of sorts when it comes to my opinions of Christmas and the resulting consumerism. I will begin by establishing my position as a Christmas lover for as far back as I can remember. We had a few extravagant Christmases while I was growing up, and other years my parents were a little more reserved. I distinctly remember one Christmas where my sister and I got bored of opening gifts because it was taking forever and we just wanted to enjoy what we had already opened. As I got further into my teenage years I thoroughly enjoyed shopping for gifts my family, especially my mom. I valued the time spent reflecting on everyone and trying to pick the perfect thing they would love, but I fell into the same traps every year where I got carried away and bought things just for the sake of wrapping another present and putting it under the tree. I looked forward to giving gifts as much as I liked receiving them.
These days my husband and I stick to a low budget for gifts for one another, and we give handmade gifts every year. We also buy very little for our children, who are still quite young, and encourage our extended families to do the same (something they’re getting better about). We are trying to raise our kids to value the traditions and the time together rather than focusing on the gifts. This will be a lesson that we reinforce year after year, and some years it will be more successful than others.
According to this article, Americans spent an average of about $1463 per person for Christmas in 2021, while some cities had spending estimates that were nearly three times that rate. For comparison, the average monthly mortgage payment in 2021 was $1427 according to the U.S. Census Bureau’s American Housing Survey (Bankrate.com). Gift giving is a normal way to express love and appreciation for one another, but I believe it is most effective when done in moderation. It is hard to practice moderation with all of the sales, advertisements, temptations, and expectations that we immerse ourselves in during the months of November and December.
My Relationship with Christmas
I am an unapologetic lover of Christmas. I try not to overwhelm others, but my joy for the season is heartfelt, genuine, and personal. Every year when we open up the boxes of decorations I feel as though I am going back through an interactive scrapbook that spans all the decades of my life. I grew up making ornaments and decorations in school or with my mom and things haven’t changed much. Our household decorations are almost entirely handmade and/or inherited from our families. As grandparents passed away and parents downsized their own collections we kept the things that mattered to us most. Each item represents a memory and each one brings a smile to my face when I see it.
We have some pretty awesome traditions in our family, some old and some new. My great-grandmother used to knit stockings for everyone in the family. Nobody else took up the tradition, until I got my hands on the vintage patterns a few years ago. Each Christmas since, I have knit a stocking for someone in my family so we all have ones of the same style. Stockings are one of our favorite parts of Christmas morning, so much so that we’ve discussed limiting our gift-giving to stockings alone. For now, I enjoy making sure everyone who spends Christmas at our house has a stocking to enjoy. I have even sewn stockings for extended family when they visit from out of town.
The other major Christmas tradition in our house is the cooking, baking, and making of foods. While we try to maintain a sense of moderation (more for our health than to combat consumerism) we have made an annual habit of decorating cookies as a family the day or two before Christmas. We’ve dabbled in making gingerbread houses once or twice. I also go through the trouble of making croissants by hand to enjoy on Christmas morning with breakfast. In years past we have made eggnog from scratch (the kind that ages in the fridge for a month or two) and we hope to try making a real, old-fashioned fruitcake (also aged with rum or brandy) one of these years. The other candies, baked goods, and even Christmas dinner itself changes from year to year, but we have a collection of recipes that usually stick to. Many of them were inherited from our own families, but others have quickly become classics in our house simply for being so good. My husband and I both thoroughly enjoy cooking and getting fancy with our food, so this is just another thing that we do because we enjoy it. Rarely do we take the time to be so fancy during the rest of the year. In this way, Christmas gives us an outlet and a way to pursue passions that we don’t always make time for and I think that’s just another reason why I love it so much.
May each and every one of you enjoy this season to the fullest, however you choose to spend it!
Tesha Hudson
Mindy, I absolutely LOVED reading your blog! The addition of the Christmas jazz music was so clever 🙂 it added such a warm feeling to the post. The timeline of Santa was so fun to read and quite interesting! Our family celebrates Sinter Klaas the night of December 5 by leaving a boot out for fun little chocolates and trinkets to be placed into. I am also a Christmas lover and the magic of the season excites me so much. The home made gifts that you and your loved ones create are so impressive! You are a talented bunch. I’m wishing you and your family a joy filled holiday season!
Mindy Haley
I enjoy the golden oldies of Christmas Music, but they can get tiresome or overwhelming sometimes. In recent years I have really taken a liking to Christmas Jazz, especially if I get to sit around and knit or crochet in the evening while the house is clean and quiet.
I am always interested in the ways other countries celebrate holidays. That is so neat that you guys celebrate Sinter Klaas! Does your family lineage connect you to the tradition, or is it something you’ve chosen to adopt? Sometimes I think it would be educational and interesting to celebrate the season in the traditions of another country one year, although I wonder whether the rest of my family would sign on for something like that.
Thanks for your kind words about our craftiness! It is something that runs deep in both our families. My mom is a fearless artist and has tried (and mostly mastered) everything from professional cake-making to stained glass. My husband’s dad was a general contractor and hobby woodworker with a giant shop on their property, so Brian grew to love woodworking from a very young age.