Holiday traditions can vary from each family. There are so many different things that we all do during the holidays that whether you realize it or not, you’re making it a tradition. All the cleaning, decorating, prepping, cooking, serving, whether you say a prayer before the meal or not, playing card games, there are so many ways to continue your family tradition.
I grew up spending my Thanksgiving starving the entire day, which I am sure that a lot of people can also relate to that. We would snack here and there but never actually ate a meal until dinner time. I was (and still am) never a cook for the holidays. I honestly feel like I would overthink too much when making a meal for everyone. Would they like it? Am I putting enough seasoning? Is it too much? Basically I just stress myself out too much when cooking a meal for a special occasion. So, instead of cooking I would find other ways to contribute for the day. Whether that be cleaning and decorating, making the desserts, washing the dishes, running to the store for any last minute needs, or just hanging out with all the kids and keeping them occupied.
Come dinner time, no matter where I was, we always had a huge family gathering. All my cousins, uncles, aunts, grandmas and grandpas would come over and many would bring a dish to share as well. We would all gather around the table while one of the elders said a prayer and blessed the food. While everyone eats, there is always laughter, story telling going on, many side conversations. One of the biggest things for me though, was cleaning up after everyone is done. Making sure everyone ate, putting all the food away, washing all the dishes and making sure those that brought a dish get it returned in a timely manner. This is how I grew up spending Thanksgiving. It has always been one of my favorite holidays just because of all the different food varieties and the family connections.
The past few years has been a major adjustment as I have not been home and have been spending Thanksgiving with my Fiancés family. The food is amazing as always. Yet it is so different from what I grew up with. It’s not a large gathering where everyone is invited. It’s relatively small and quiet, not as hectic, everyone is dressed nice, and no prayer said before the meal. A lot more formal than my usual Thanksgiving gathering.
This had gotten me to reflect on how there are so many different ways that each family will celebrate in their own unique way. I also know of some families who choose not to celebrate the holiday at all. There could be many reasons why a person might not want to celebrate. It could be grief, trauma, loneliness, disagreement with the holiday, or they just simply don’t have anyone to spend it with. This can make it a lot harder on them when this time of year comes around. This year, Thanksgiving was very different for me because I was not able to eat much. Normally I’m going all in when it comes to dinner, I have recently gone under a lot of digestive problems and have gotten strict diet instructions from my doctor. I was still present and helped as much as I can, but I did not get to enjoy it as much as I hoped. This doesn’t seem like such a big deal but it had actually made an impact on how I felt about celebrating Thanksgiving. I did not want to celebrate this year. I’m so far from my family, I can’t enjoy the meal, my Fiancé went to work the day before, it just seemed like it was not worth celebrating at that point.
My experience had reminded me that we need to be kind to one another always. There are so many others who can be in worse situations and are struggling immensely. I was reminded that it is important to be a considerate person because holidays are not so great for everyone.
Abbigale Wheeler
Hey Rayanne! I really enjoyed reading your blog this week and I liked what you wrote about all families having and creating their own holiday traditions. This made me think about all the holiday traditions I have with the different parts of my family and just how these traditions began. I relate to you starving on thanksgiving until dinner, as this is something my family has always done. My last couple of thanksgivings have been somewhat mor hectic than I am used to. All of my family thanksgivings growing up were just me, my parents and my siblings, but with my husband’s family the last couple years, there is always a big group of extended family, which is very fun but definitely takes some adjusting.