East Coast Kid

I ran lap after lap in July Texas heat when I reminded myself that in order to make my dream a reality, I had to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Growing Up Poor in a Big City

In high school, I had big aspirations to become a Psychologist, but my dreams quickly came to a halt when reality hit. I was living with my mother and stepdad part-time, and dad the other half. All of them struggled to pay rent on time, often with the water or electricity cut off for a few days, until they could scrounge up some money from odd jobs. My stepdad was an alcoholic and abused drugs, which made my upbringing even more difficult than my peers. This was my current life, but I was eager to change it for myself and for others.

In class, I ignored the lessons so much that they sounded like the teacher from Peanuts. This was the time when I could focus on how to attain my dream profession, but I kept coming across the same issue: money. It was then that a light bulb went off in my father’s head. He suggested that I could join the military. After all there were a ton of benefits to include tuition assistance.

Eventually, I was able to narrow down my dream job to social work. I came across this profession one day when I realized how much I wanted to help children in any way possible, regardless of the pay. I wanted to be of service to them and their families to make their lives easier.

Hardships

During my time in the boot camp, I was almost kicked out for not being able to pass the required physical test. At that point in time, my flight had gotten to know each other. There was a broad range of young women. There were moms, newly weds, eighteen year olds straight out of high school, foreigners, middle class, lower class, country folk, city goers, etc. However, one thing that united us was our pasts. Each female had some sort of struggle growing up. Whether it was money, abusive parents, or drug abuse: we were all connected by a mutual understanding of “When in the hole, look in the whole to begin your healing journey” Rita Blumenstein mentality. This inspired me to keep putting one foot in front of the other to obtain my goal of helping others have a better upbringing. Whether this meant providing outside resources or providing a listening ear. This experience helped steer me closer to my goal of becoming a social worker.

Almost a year later, I found myself at Eielson Air Force Base, Alaska searching for ways to help others in my own community. Eventually, I came across the Big Brother, Big Sister program where I could mentor young children and teens in the area. This was my way of testing the water with what I really wanted to do. Big Brother Big Sisters of America (BBBS) had similar ethics compared to social work. For example, putting the child or clients needs first, challenging juvenile justice, and helping as much as possible. I noted that they weren’t a political group, because I wasn’t interested in politics unless it had a direct effect on quality of living. However, I noticed they promote the health and well-being of youth, which is everything I wanted to be involved in.

After several months of waiting on a list to become a mentor, I got a phone call from BBBS saying there was a ten year old girl (name redacted for privacy) living in North Pole, Alaska waiting for a “Big Sister” who had similar interests. Following the phone call and group session I had with her and the parents, we began having bi-weekly meets around the Fairbanks area. During these meets, I discovered that we both loved to bake, paint, be outdoors, and read books. However, almost six months later I realized that the girl was extremely shy and may not speak about her troubled past as easily as I had hoped. Although, I did end up spending more time with her because she was so enjoyable to be around.

One day, I went to pick her up from her house so we could do some crafts together. On this particular day, she took me by surprise. She told me that her six year old sister had passed away from Cancer recently. I didn’t know how to respond to such saddening news. I thought I knew how to handle these types of situations, but I didn’t know what to say so I gave her a hug instead. I then asked her if she went to church because I grew up Christian and going to church had really helped me during my childhood. She said no, but she hoped to see her sister again one day. After that, I decided not to press forward with religion and let the girl lead the conversation. I don’t know if I did the right thing or not, but I am happy that she began to feel comfortable around me. I acknowledge that this is still a weakness area and I will need to work hard to improve it.

North Pole: A Place Called Home

I met Kyler in December of 2020 and nearly three years later we settled down in North Pole, AK after falling in love with the scenery and home town feel. During those three years North Pole kept feeling more like home. It probably helped that we moved out of the military dorms and into our own apartment. We also had our daughter back in November 2023. However, it was a big change from living in a beach town to living in interior Alaska. Going from my grandma’s southern accent and homemade sweet tea to townfolk talking about their latest caribou hunt. Alaska is a whole new territory for me, but it resonates with my love of the outdoors.